quiz: what kind of person are you?

the kind of person i want to be:
-compassionate
-forgiving
-understanding
-supportive
-clever & witty
-strong in my convictions
-intellegent
-responsible
-respectful
-free


the kind of person i currently am:
-angry & hostile
-confused
-selfish
-a common gossip
-rude
- competely trapped

i want so badly to be a good friend.
i was on the phone with kacie tonight, and she asked me,
'why are you trying so hard, when no one else has?'
and i'm starting to see it.

why am i fighting an uphill battle to save the relationships and friendships in my life when i'm only met with indifference?
what do you do with someone you love and hate in equal parts?
what does a 'good person' do?

do i let my heart win out?
remember how much fun i've had with these people and all the shit they stood by me through. and keep in mind that forgiveness and understanding are big parts of relationships of all kinds.

or do i let my brain win out?
the part of my brain that's screaming at me to look at the facts & track records and admit that i'm just being stupid at this point.

all i want is for someone to stand up for me and my friendship with them.
i know i haven't always been the best friend or best person,
but i've changed.
i've grown.
and i think my actions speak that.